Now that the tipi is up, I've realized I'll need to start thinking about what else to write about. The process of the tipi has made this blogging thing, thus far, fairly easy. Now that it's done, I admit...I've struggled to figure out where to go from here. Isn't it wonderful, then, that inspiration will strike in the most unexpected ways!
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before I talk about that, I do want to give a little tipi-related update. I've spent some time this week visiting my local thrift store to find some things for a kitchenette. I got some silverware, glasses, a couple plates and a bowl. I also got some spices, oils, and basic cooking ingredients at the store. Suffice it to say, I'm quite pleased with my little set-up.
Last night I had the pleasure of cooking my first meal in the tipi. It was so nice having everything I needed in arms reach! It took me back to the last house I lived in, where the drawers were full of useless gadgets and cooking wares. I'm sure many of you have kitchens that fit that description! It's funny how easily we can collect all these things until, the next thing we know, we've cluttered up our space so much we often struggle to find what we do need!
Looking back, I think a major contributor to my clutter was the whole, "Well, I spent the money to get it, so I better keep it" mentality. I'd bet my bottom dollar, this is one of the top two reasons people struggle with downsizing. We see our things as either investments, or as objects which hold sentimental value (a subject worthy of its own post!). Now-a-days, it's easy for me to donate or give away things I've not used in a long time, even though I've spent some money on it. That's because if it cost you money to obtain, but you're not using it- your money has already been wasted! If your money has been spent on something you don't use or like very much, then the best thing to do is to get rid of it so it's at least not cluttering up your space. The other thing that helps me is the 6-month rule. If you've had it for six months without using it, it's probably best you don't have it at all, assuming it's nothing of worthy sentimental value.
Frankly, I've yet to meet any minimalist who didn't have to shed their wares to some degree. I shed a whole house full of them, and you know what? I've not had a single regret for it. My favorite item I've let go of was a solid cherry wood, three drawer armoire I got from my last job where I helped make handmade, hardwood furniture.
These armoires were being called in from an old hotel job the company had done years before because the hotel didn't want them anymore. They were worth over $1000.00 retail each, but the company handed them to us workers for free. To be given such a valuable piece of furniture for nothing? Incredible! However, the ex-husband and I didn't have a very big house, let alone much space in it for a giant, solid wood armoire. You think that stopped us? Of course not! So with much heaving and ho-ing we got this behemoth of a glorified jewelry box into our living room. To make it worth its shake in salt, however, we put our TV and consoles in it.
Following the separation of our marriage some months later, I realized I really didn't care to have this leviathan piece of furniture taking up a fair portion of my living room. My solution- to give it away at the same cost it was given to me. So I posted it up on craigslist, and by the next day it was gone, taken by an elderly man and his grandson. Later that evening, the wife of the older gentleman called me back, fawning over how gorgeous it was and how perfectly if matched her living room! Her excitement was tangible over the phone and since then, I've always smiled when thinking about giving away that old armoire.
Now, you might be thinking, "Yeah, but you didn't have to pay for that armoire, so it was easy to just give it away." True, I didn't have to pay for it. But if I had? I'd still have done the same thing. The truth is, that woman who got that armoire brought me more joy than that armoire ever did, and that was worth $1000, easy.
That was the brightest of my minimalist experience thus far, but recently I stumbled into my darkest. I was moving my stuff out of my tent and into my tipi this last Wednesday evening. After I had moved the last of my and Boo's things, I stepped into the tent to grab a garbage bag I had left in there, and that's when I felt something shift inside of me. Kneeling down, I just stared. I stared at the walls and the floor; at the imprints of where my bed had been, of where Boo's kennel had stood, of the chair, and my storage tote and my night stand. All of the imprints were like ghosts of something long passed. The longer I looked at everything, the more I could feel my heart breaking, and it didn't take long after that I was just sat there. Crying.
At first, I didn't really understand what it was that had me so upset. It took me about fifteen minutes before I could muster up the motivation to take the tent down and throw it in the dump pile. The whole time I was disassembling the tent, I was crying, and it wasn't until I had finally thrown the tent away and left to go to the store that I finally began to calm down. Then the tears kind of just leaked from my face. A lady asked me at the store if I was okay, and I realized there's no real sane way to explain to someone you're sad about your half-shredded tent being thrown away, so I assured her I was fine.
Later that night, as I lie in bed, I imagined seeing that empty space inside my tent. It occurred to me that I wasn't sad because I had to throw out my tent. Really, my sadness had nothing to do with the tent at all. It was the space inside of it, the space that had served as my first real home in years. For me, home was never a house. Ever. It was a place by a stream, it was the company of the woods, it was the laughter I shared with friends and family, it was the profound, world-view changing love I had for my ex-husband when we were younger, it was the moonlight shining down on me as I walked down country roads, it was the rays of the setting summer sun on mountain peaks, it was swimming among the ribbons of light in crystal clear water. It wasn't my collection of kitchen gadgets, it wasn't a fancy piece of furniture, it wasn't how much I spent on this-or-that thing. I realized that my little tent was the closest thing to a home dwelling I've every had. A house is a house, but a home is what you make of it. It made me realize how beautiful it was that I had lost a home, and for that I am grateful.
I want to challenge you. If there is a place in your house or home that has caused you grief because of the clutter, just get rid of one thing from there. Just one thing that you've held onto for who knows how long; just one thing that you've struggled to get rid, not for sentimental reasons, but for other reasons - just pack it up and donate it, or give it to someone else. Then, let yourself really navigate what you feel after. Are you sad? Why? Are you happy? Why? What motivated you to hold onto it for so long? Was it worth it? What depth of loss do you truly feel from having gotten rid of that thing? Do you feel relieved that it's gone? Now give it a week, or a month. How do you feel about it now? Try it. Really, what's the worse that could happen?
The thing is, when you attach yourself to more material things, you're increasing the likelihood that you'll be suffering over them. Either because of the clutter, or because of the grief it will cause to let it go. If you're not ready to start getting rid of things, then try this game with me instead; imagine your house is on fire, and this rather generous fire is giving you ten minutes to grab what you need and get out. Now, run through your house, grabbing what you think you'd take. Hurry, before you read any further, do that right now! I'll wait.
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Great, now look at what you grabbed; Was it hard to decide what to keep? What made what you grabbed valuable? Function, aesthetic appeal, or sentimentality? Do you think the items you grabbed are sensible for surviving after a fire? What did you leave behind that you think you would truly grieve for? Why? Are you sad for you couch set? A family heirloom? What about underwear, did you even think to grab that? Or a toothbrush?
My point is this; value is very much a subjective thing. If you're finding that you're house is made uncomfortable by unnecessary clutter, it's really not an insurmountable obstacle to overcome to evaluate the importance of what helps make up your space, organize it, and make that space more like home. I promise you, you won't be sorry.
If you try this fire drill (I recommend you do), I'd love to hear what you saved, and why. Also, send pictures! I'd love to share what some of y'all saved in the next blog post. Don't forget to show what things that would be very hard, or upsetting to leave behind. Feel free to send your responses to my e-mail: verminennans@gmail.com
Until then, here's to simple living!
